What Kind of Woman Am I Becoming?

Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my life and what I hope to accomplish in my life.

I’m a woman of God. I’m someone’s wife. And, in just a few months, I’ll be someone’s mommy.

Like many people, I’ve spent time thinking about my future. I have goals for my career, my finances, and even where I’d like to live someday. I enjoy making plans and dreaming about what’s ahead.

One thing I’d never stopped to think about, though, is what kind of woman am I becoming? What kind of woman is God shaping me into?

For a long time, I found myself looking at older Christian women I admired and thinking, If I want a life that reflects Jesus, I need to become more like them.

I admired their wisdom, their peace, the way they loved their husbands and children, and the steadiness of their faith. I often wondered how people become spiritually mature. And I wished I had someone who could sit down with me and teach me what it looked like to steward my faith, my marriage, and eventually motherhood well.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that spiritual maturity doesn’t happen automatically.

It doesn’t happen because enough birthdays pass or because you’ve attended church for a certain number of years.

It happens through intentionality and surrender. Through allowing God to shape us day by day.

And that process requires something I’m still learning to extend to myself: patience and kindness.

Building a Christ-centered marriage, family, and life isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s cultivated over years of ordinary acts of faithfulness.

Then, during one of my many conversations with God, I had a new understanding that completely shifted my perspective.

At first, I thought my goal was to become more like the women I deeply admire.

Then something hit me.

God never asked me to become them.

He’s only asked me to become the Adriana He created me to be.

You have no idea how freeing that felt.

Trying to shape my life into someone else’s has always been exhausting. Comparison has a way of convincing us that faithfulness looks like imitation, but it doesn’t. No matter how hard I try, I will never become someone else, and I don’t think God ever intended me to.

Instead, He’s patiently shaping me into the woman He uniquely created me to be.

That realization felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders.

I don’t have to compare or copy. I don’t have to become someone else.

I simply have to follow Jesus and allow Him to transform me into the woman He has always known I could become.

With that realization came another one.

If I want to become more like Christ, I can’t leave my spiritual growth to chance.

I have to intentionally order my life around Him.

That’s when I discovered the idea of a “Rule of Life.”

Despite how it sounds, it isn’t a list of rigid rules.

It’s an intentional, personalized rhythm of practices, habits, and relationships that helps you live in alignment with God and your deepest values. Think of it as creating space for God to shape you instead of hoping growth just happens on its own.

Lately, creating my own Rule of Life has become a new passion project.

I want to work with God on the work He’s already doing in me.

For me, that rhythm looks something like this:

Every morning, I want to begin with prayer and Scripture before the distractions of the day take over.

Every week, I want to reflect on where I’ve seen God at work in every area of my life.

Every month, I hope to meet with a mentor who can disciple me and encourage my spiritual growth.

Every quarter, I want to pause and honestly ask myself whether I’m becoming more patient, more joyful, more loving, and more faithful than I was a few months ago.

This is not meant to measure my worth, but to begin noticing how God is slowly transforming me.

Because I don’t think God is asking me to become extraordinary.

I think He’s asking me to become faithful.

Faithful in my marriage. Faithful in motherhood. Faithful when no one is watching.

Perhaps that’s how extraordinary lives are built after all… Not through one dramatic moment, but through thousands of ordinary acts of obedience that slowly cultivate the fruits of the Spirit.

I know that becoming the woman God is shaping me to be won’t be an overnight transformation.

Maybe it will look like opening my Bible when I’m tired.

Apologizing quickly when I’m wrong.

Praying over my son before he understands the words.

Choosing kindness when it’s difficult.

Loving my husband in ordinary, everyday ways.

I used to think transformation should feel big.

Now I’m beginning to think it feels much quieter than that.

It’s returning to Jesus, over and over again.

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Colossians 2:6–7 (NIV)

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”

Romans 8:29 (NIV)

“For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…”

Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

“…he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Micah 6:8 (NIV)

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”